Duke Petitions GQ to 'End Unfair Rankings'

Aug 26 2009, Written by Andrew Hibbard in Culture,Playground, 2 Comments

In an act illustrating exactly why Duke ranked so high on GQ’s list of America’s Douchiest Colleges, what we can only imagine to be a group of Duke students has issued an online petition against the Conde Nast publication’s for its “biased selection process.” It says:

We, the undersigned members of the Duke University community, demand the following:

- More transparency in GQ’s douchiest school selection process.
- More rigor in the aforementioned process, reflecting the rigor in Duke University’s renowned douche-nurturing environment.
- An explanation of why Duke could win numerous honorable mentions in diverse categories of douchiness, reflecting the world-class breadth and depth of Duke’s douchetastic excellence, yet still only earn second place.
- A ranking correction. Duke University must be selected for first place to reflect the reality of Duke all-surpassing performance in fine douche education.
- Free dry cleaning for my Polo shirts, brah. Don’t you know who my dad is?

Douchiest (if funny) indeed.