3 things shockingly more important than the lady who played Kate on Lost

10 Feb 2011, Posted by Jason Liu in Backpages, 1 Comments

Personally, I always viewed myself as someone with generally normal views. Spending almost four years here in the Duke community has allowed me to encounter people with interesting perspectives that contrast greatly from mine. Though I reveled in learning and understanding other viewpoints, little did I know, that maybe I was the one with the abnormal views this whole time. My journey through Wikipedia has let me see that I am probably way out of the consensus of not just Duke but the world.

With Wikipedia, I found that the best way to see how important something is to society in general is to see how long the page for it. Longer Wikipedia entries indicate that most likely, more sources about the subject will be cited, indicating a larger general interest in said subject. Since Wikipedia is volunteer edited and submitted, long entries are easily prone to vandalism and such. Because of that, seeing the lack of errors and pranks in long entries is also a sign of importance because that means more volunteers are willing to make sure that the proper information goes out.

With that in mind, I decided to do some exploring in Wikipedia to learn about what the world considers more important than Evangeline Lilly, who played Kate on Lost. Lost if you did not know, is quite possibly the greatest show ever. So playing one of the most important characters on Lost has got to mean something right? Instead, I find a few surprises about how off my views were as compared to the world’s.

1. The fat acceptance movement: With obesity and heart disease rapidly increasing with no end in sight in this country, I thought people were in general pretty OK with expanding waistbands. We seem more likely to judge someone as too skinny these days anyways (Nicole Richie anyone?). Plus, the character Hurley on Lost was a definite fan favorite. One of the most entertaining characters on Glee is fat. I honestly would not have guessed that fat acceptance needed a movement, let alone a Wikipedia page, especially when all signs point to society already being reasonably accepting of body size differences.

2. Carlos Mencia: This comedian is more famous for sucking and ripping others off than for actually making people laugh. Considering how lame he is, how does he get a Wikipedia page longer than an actress who starred on a show with a large and zealous fan base? She even got positive reviews for her acting. The sky must be falling; Hell must be freezing over. Basic cable must be getting worse than it already is.

3. Ivan van Sertima: Most people do not even know or care who this person is. Courtesy of the random article link on Wikipedia, I discovered he is basically some hack proponent of pseudo-history who ended up teaching at Rutgers and even once testifying for a congressional hearing. One would describe him as a very good example of academia gone wrong. Evangeline Lilly knew that she was playing a fictional character when signed on for Lost. I would figure that people involved at Rutgers would have done their best to hide his Wikipedia page so that no one would know how embarrassing he was to the school.

Jason Liu is a Pratt senior. His online column will run every Thursday.

Breaking up with Picasso

08 Feb 2011, Posted by Ariel Smallwood in Backpages, 0 Comments

Relationships are like art–you try to understand what the hell you are up against before you finally give up trying. It takes somebody with a glass of wine and wit like a 37-year-old British movie critic to tell you what is wrong.

Something like “he has commitment issues” or “that painting is so CLEARLY from his pink period”. Whatever.

Some of you here at Duke have never even heard of a relationship. Don’t fret: this is a comprehensive, all-inclusive, no fail guide to understanding relationships and art.

First, let’s define what exactly a relationship is. It’s when two people (or three people if you are a free spirit) decide that they only want to sit around and hook up with each other. Why anyone would want to do that beats me.

In art, some people have muses who just sit around while the painter watches them. Sometimes muses are willing, other times no so much. In life, an unwilling muse would probably be known as a stalking victim but in art everything is ok. With art and relationships, one person usually gets more invested than the other person and becomes possessive and sometimes violent and then DUPD gets involved and no one wants that.

Second, the person who does the least amount of work gets the biggest reward. We all know that Duke has an awesome econ program and that public policy isn’t too shabby either. In fact, we probably all chose Duke for academic prestige so that we can declare our majors as pre-money. But, maybe all of those kids that went to RISD and Tisch were onto something.

Maybe art majors shouldn’t be overlooked. Think about it: an artist gets to paint an entire canvas blue and say that its about a girl that he watched in the park every day for three years and the entire population that makes more than $250,000 a year will swoon and pay at least 50 thousand for it.

He just made more than a lower level office employee for basically being a stalker who couldn’t afford to buy more than one color from Michael’s (or AC Moore depending on where you are from).

In a relationship, the guy that beds the hot cheerleader is never the one who buys her flowers and chocolates but is someone who can just bounce and/or throw a ball. For the cynics, yes all relationships do sound really similar to the plot of every 80′s romantic comedy. Closer to the point, the jock just shows up and every girl who has more than just Barbie parts will be fighting over him for no reason at all.

In a psychology class freshman year, I learned that females want to mate with the man that has the strongest genes and will best help our children get through survival of the fittest. In Duke terms, females want to mate with the guys with the fastest path to the following positions: president, CEO, partner (but not necessarily in that order).

Am I generalizing Duke girls? Hell yes I am but generalizations (as well as stereotypes) exist for a reason.

I end with a final word of advice: if you are dating at duke think about art. Be like an artist and act completely disinterested in anything mainstream, popular, or trendy. Then, when you are ready to catch that special someone, dedicate something to them of minimal talent and effort that has a really deep and dark life moment connected to it.

The reality is that art and relationships are a tad too similar. They make absolutely no sense and people usually have to be drunk to enjoy them. Maybe that’s the beauty of it.

Ariel Smallwood is a Trinity sophomore. Her online column runs every Tuesday.

I am not ignorant, but I do sleep well

03 Feb 2011, Posted by Jason Liu in Backpages, 2 Comments

Most of the time, the majority of tables on the Plaza revolve around some sort of free merchandise, free food, or club promotion. Those tables are usually quite easy to walk right past. However, sometimes walking through the Plaza morphs into an obstacle course I like to call the “Gauntlet of Guilt.”  This “gauntlet” only exists when the number of tables led by the self-righteous with “cause awareness” as their goal reaches a critical mass. At that point, ignoring tables means ignoring injustices. Fortunately for me, I am immune to their powers of persuasion and can walk on to class without a flinch.

Part of my resistance comes from the fact that the self-righteous crowd quite honestly is not being self-righteous enough. I have seen tables talking about problems of questionable scientific veracity like man-made global warming. I have seen tables mentioning problems of questionable significance such as how my meat is being killed (seriously, as long as it is sanitary). However, I have never seen tables dedicated to the coltan problem. Coltan is the key mineral used in capacitors, which are essential for all electronics. Let me explain: If diamonds could earn a Leonardo DiCaprio movie, then coltan needs a trilogy of movies in which Leonardo DiCaprio will be lucky just to have a part. People in Africa are dying so that we can check our e-mail, watch the Super Bowl, spam text our friends, and play Call of Duty at an absurdly affordable price.

That then leads me to the conclusion that pretty much anyone using an electronic device to aid them in soliciting donations is failing the righteousness test. They actually seem quite ignorant. Think about all of those tables on the Plaza that have some sort of electronic device to help them aid in their cause, ranging from a computer to sign up for a listserv or a Flex reader. That means by helping Darfur or curing cancer, I am also helping fund more violence in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

This does not have to be limited to just the coltan problem. Every sort of cause has someone who ignored something more important. For example, I noticed very few boycotts of the 2010 World Cup, considering the South Africa’s history of violence after apartheid ended. Haiti was already one of the poorest countries on Earth before the devastating earthquake, and I continually wonder why so little effort was spent trying to solicit donations from me in the past.

Thus, I have given away my secret to how I ignore all those charities yet sleep well at night. I hope everyone who reads this finds a way to use my technique of making it through a “Gauntlet of Guilt” completely guilt-free.

However, I know that not everyone can go to sleep knowing about darker more severe problems, so I even propose to you a way to deal with that part. You should rationalize that since you have a better life with better opportunities, you will somehow find some way to parlay your situation to improve the rest of the world. Once you use that sort of logic, you have no reason other than to live long and prosper.

Jason Liu is a Pratt senior. His online column will run every Thursday.

Tent #100

01 Feb 2011, Posted by Ariel Smallwood in Backpages, 0 Comments

Ski Gloves: $78
North Face Sleeping Bag: $177
Package of 10 pairs of handwarmers: $10
Getting to see the Blue Devils in action against the Tarholes: priceless?

Duke students are unique creatures. Everything that we do, we do it big. We say, “Go big or go home and you can’t go home so you might as well go big.”

Sitting in Bella Union, I heard two students debating how to create a computer chess program that is unbeatable. I thought to myself, “Only at Duke”, not because only Duke students would try and create such a program—we all know that Harvard students would do the same. I thought, only at Duke would someone like me, a person as far into the Social Science rabbit hole as possible, would be genuinely interested in how that process would work.

We Duke students apply this same spirit to the terrible tradition known as Tenting. Rumor has it that a few students from Mirecourt inventing tenting in the 1980s. If the rumor is true then I say to those students (in my best Ceelo Green voice) “FORGET YOU”.

Tenting really sucks. Most nights the temperature falls below 35 degrees and the days are cold and windy. Being in a tent with so many people at one time is not only uncomfortable but leads to conflict. At this point, I hope that I don’t see my tentmates for the next two years.

Did I mention that I was tenting? Well, I am. It is probably the worst mistake of my life. I am as sick as a dog and the thought of another day in the tent makes my physically sick. Do I regret it? Not one bit.

Tenting represents the precise reason that I came to Duke. Tenting is about supporting your team no matter what and building relationships with those in different social circles. My lack of Greek letters does not keep me out of K-Ville just like those who are members of Greek organizations cannot depend on those organizations to keep them in K-ville.

Like Duke students, tenting has a purpose. It is a means to a greater end that we will (hopefully) remember for the rest of our lives. Tenting is both the best tradition and the worst tradition at Duke. However, its rank is not the important in the greater Duke experience.

It has cemented its place in Duke history and if it is eliminated next year or 100 years from now it will have given students a shared vision.

So, why do we tent? At the end of the day, we approach supporting our basketball team much like we approach our studies: go big or go home. And home is 3,000 miles away.

Ariel Smallwood is a Trinity sophomore. Her online column will run every Tuesday.

Chinese mothers are superior?

25 Jan 2011, Posted by Ziwen Deng in Backpages, 0 Comments

I’ll admit that I’m a little biased in writing this piece, but there are some topics you just can’t stay away from. Amy Chua, a Yale Law School professor—and self-proclaimed stereotypical Chinese mother—recently wrote a controversial piece about the differences between Western and Chinese/Asian parenting that has so far garnered 7367 comments. Chua portrays the strenuous nature of the latter method as much more effective than the softer nature of the former, going as far as to claim that Westerners “seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly.” She believes that children from Western cultures do not respect the debt owed to their parents, and thus are less motivated to work; in contrast, Chinese mothers relentlessly push their children because they see the potential to be “perfect” within them.

As you’d expect, most comments on The Wall Street Journal express shock, scorn, disapproval, and ultimately rejection. Western society balks at the slightest hint of a threat to individual rights, even when the subjects are unable to decide what’s best for themselves. Chinese culture, on the other hand, cringes when its youth is exposed to any form of recreation or relaxation.

Being a product of Chinese parenting combined with Western education has taught me that neither method is a foolproof way to raise a child. Whipping your six-year-old every time he gets a B does not convey that you only want what’s best for him. Then again, buying your daughter a car when she finishes in last place at a science fair doesn’t help either. Raising a child is a task that requires more than one way of thought. In conclusion, the next time you have a kid, make sure you are exposing him or her to both evils.