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Party in the U.S.A

Sep 06 2011, Written by in Backpages, 4 Comments


Back home in Hong Kong, everyone warned me of the culture shock I was going to experience upon arrival at Duke. I didn’t know exactly what they meant at the time.

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Of course Dukies would be slightly different than me, given that I had spent the last sixteen years of my life in Asia. But would it be the conservative political views of the South that would shock me? Maybe the way they eat? Cutting back on dimsum and replacing that component of my diet with burgers couldn’t be that drastic! But the first night of O-week I understood. Compared to Asian or European youth, many Dukies have a very different sense of what it means to have fun—what it means to party.

Granted, back in Hong Kong, I could go into a club and buy a drink when I was 16. With the stricter drinking age regulations in the United States, it is inevitable that the philosophy of drinking would be affected. “Pre-gaming” was a term I had never heard before, and what I learned is that the point of partying for many is to get as drunk as possible early in the night so that the rest of the night is more fun. Not only is this a more dangerous way of getting drunk, but it also suggests that heavy intoxication is a requirement for a good night of partying. Of course, I’ll be the first to admit that being drunk can be a lot of fun. It worries me, however, that many people I meet here have forgotten how to have fun without being near-blackout drunk.

The atmosphere at the club was also a total shock to me. The first night of O-week, when a big group of my friends arrived at Shooters, the girls and the guys started pairing up and grinding. Although it is an accepted social norm to do that here, I couldn’t believe it at first. If I tried to grind with a girl at a club in Hong Kong, she would call the cops and try me in court for molestation. And given that dry-humping is the primary mode of interaction at clubs here, it is no surprise that half of the pairs of “dancers” end up making out after the second song. At the end of that first night, one of the girls in my group told me that the guy she grinded with was “a really good dancer.” I told her to go watch some Jabbawockeez videos.

The crux of the issue is the abnormally high drinking age in the U.S. If everyone who partied at Duke was of legal drinking age, pre-gaming would no longer be necessary. This means that in general, people would probably get less drunk because they would be drinking over a longer period of time.

However, I am not convinced that lowering the drinking age would affect the grinding phenomenon. It seems to be an accepted facet of party life here that people enjoy. But what is it about American (or Duke) culture that makes grinding acceptable? And why is the attitude so different in Asia or in Europe?

It might take me my whole Duke career to answer that question.

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4 Comments

September 7, 2011 4:08 pm

Another International Student

I agree with you that there is a fundamental difference between the dancing I am used to and the dance-labeled humping that Americans cherish. I have tried to reason out for myself why it is so popular here, and in addition to the obvious sexual thrill on the part of the man and the to-men-unknown-and-unintelligible motivations hidden in the deep and uncharted psychology of the female mind, I believe that a strong, contributing factor to the predominance of dance-labeled dry-humping in America is the genres of music American youths have grown to appreciate and associate with dancing, clubs, and parties. Namely, the genres of hip-hop, rap, and heavy-bass pop.

These genres are darned hard to dance creatively to. When a song consists of the same four beats played in constant repetition, and an underprivileged member of society repeats the same inane, dissenting views on”skanks and hos,” I find that I quickly lose both interest and dancing ability. Where did rhythm and creativity go? What happened to fast beats mixed with slow beats mixed with story-telling melodies?

Different places play different melodies. I probably only like what I like because I grew up with it, and the same is true for everyone else. Can we expect that kids aged 18-21 learn to dance completely differently than they are used to? No, I don’t think so. The problem of grinding is not a problem insomuch as it is a cultural thing, and if one would ever want to change this aspect of American culture, perhaps the best way is to start with the young —- throw some variable beats at dey bitches.

September 8, 2011 10:08 am

Emily

Ugh I so agree with everything in this article and I’m born and bred in California. I guess when I was in 8th grAde when “grinding” first came out and was the thing to do, I was into it. Now that I’ve hit puberty and beyond I immediately shoot any “grinder” a dirty look when they attempt it with me. I don’t need their junk all up on me, I wish they took After your culture in that sense. As for the drinking, I think many have forgotten how to have fun with out a sixth rum and coke in their hands. I’ve blacked out once and I hope to never ever get near that drunk again. Good article, hopefully it does not fall on deaf ears :)

September 8, 2011 2:50 pm

Robert Taylor Holmes

“When a song consists of the same four beats played in constant repetition, and an underprivileged member of society repeats the same inane, dissenting views on”skanks and hos,” I find that I quickly lose both interest and dancing ability.”

First commenter: welcome to America, where saying these kinds of things will make you few friends!

September 9, 2011 12:45 am

Another International Student

Robert, thank you for your cautionary note! In my 2+ years in America I have fortunately discovered that there are so many Americans that I invariable find a large number tolerant individuals who can accept my criticism and engage in thoughtful discussion. You seem to belong to the fraction of the American populace that resorts to insults and delights in taking offense. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-JxA9Rvs8I) I am sure neither of us have trouble finding like-minded individuals.

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